Sunday, September 13, 2015
Does it get easier?
This week a young woman that I really didn't know apart from reading her blog and her posts at another Breast Cancer group.... She hadn't posted anything since around January , I was checking nearly every other day. According to what she had written she wasn't doing that well. She was young in her very early 30's. A mother of 2 young sons and she was a wife, she loved her family They loved her back equally too. Allison died the other day. I recall one posting she made her mom thought it was time she consider Hospice There was a lot of rage against the mother in one particular posting group. For one minute walking in her shoes If we were the mother of a daughter who's cancer was progressing rapidly, she was becoming weaker.. If we had a child who was dying who's to say how we'd react.. I remember writing I didn't think the mom meant malice towards her..nearly had my head bitten off too.. Cancer makes you feel helpless. .I honestly believe she had her daughters comfort in mind. Not some insidious plot to put her away. There is still so much stigma associated with Hospice & Palliative care.
I have spoken with others who are still re-current free. We seem to be on the same page that we are just as scared today -if not more at times. The thought in spite of pretending you don't think about it, or family and friends think you are cured just don't get it you're blown off only to be told why worry about something that isn't there? But it is there somewhere lurking..
Folks will tell you you shouldn't think those negative thoughts.
Fact is we live it.. Allison Lutz lived it every day since she was diagnosed... So many before her and there will be many after her.
We are all so fragile....
Rest in Peace Dear Allison...... I didn't know you but you touched my soul.......